Friday, August 19, 2011

Peace of Mind, Part II

"Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances." Mahatma Gandhi

My last blog, Peace of Mind, listed five suggestions for finding and maintaining peace of mind. This blog will focus on suggestion # 1 which is:

Be willing to give up the need to control others' lives.

     Trying to control other's choices is like trying to drive a car without a steering wheel. We have no control over the way someone else's life goes. Each of us is a unique individual, here to walk our own path. Until we live in someone else's skin we have no way of knowing what is best for them, or what direction their life should take.

     The driving force behind our need to control other's lives is a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, which is fueled by deep fear. It is ludicrous, and dangerous, to put our life's expectations on another human. It's safe to trust Spirit and to trust others to manage their own life. Even if they drive themselves into a ditch, it is still their life and their choice.

     There is a difference between caring for someone, and out of wanting the best for them, to make suggestions that are based on love and concern. Being a mentor and offering our help is not the same as feeling we have to mastermind how their life will turn out. I know it's not always easy to let others manage their own life, especially when we think their train is about to jump the track.

     It takes a lot of energy to hold on to what's not ours. Attempting to control others takes us out of a peaceful place, and many times sets us right in the middle of a battleground. Let it go. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the only life you are in control of is your own.

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