Friday, August 26, 2011

Peace of Mind, Part IV

"Peace is not something you wish for; it is something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away." Robert Fulghum

Today we will cover suggestion # 3 for finding and maintaining peace.

Be willing to step away from black or white thinking.

      We live in a polarized world where we're taught that everything has an opposite; however, life is not always black or white. Many times, it can be gray.

     Polarization creates opposition and division, and is about extremes, but life is not. We don't have to live in one extreme or the other. We can be in a neutral place and find common ground. This doesn't mean that I give up my belief or you give up yours. What it means is we agree to disagree, with the realization that we could both be right, and therefore, not making the other one wrong.  

     If we are so rigid that we can't bend to see the other side, we may break. When we're stuck in either/or thinking, we can wind up feeling defeated, threatened, or angry, if we don't get our way. When we're neutral we can be unattached to outcomes and can roll with the punches.

     The antidote to polarization, which has the potential to separate us into a right or wrong society, is compromise. A question I've learned to ask myself when faced with a polarizing situation is, "What's more important? That I win and get to be right, or that we agree to disagree and maintain our relationship?" Another good question to ask is, "What is it about me that makes me think I have to be right?" When we have to win at any cost, I think we may be stuck.

     If I choose the relationship, we both win and we do not have to sacrifice our peace in the process.

Peace and Harmony by Full Circle. Click on video to listen.

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